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Heartstrings and Keynotes

For Our Fathers : Aren’t Dads Supposed To Be Busy?

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Written by Rolayo Williams

By @its_LASH

 

Hi People!
Happy Fathers’ Day to all our wonderful dads out there. Thank you for being awesome.
I’m so sorry guys for not posting yesterday. I was really busy with a special owambe. Here’s today’s first post.

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Some people will never cease to amaze me. You know, yesterday was my roommate’s birthday. Okay you don’t know, I’m telling you. He had a small party to celebrate and by small, I mean few people were invited and but it maintained the baseline standard for  ajebutters like him. Despite the great atmosphere, I noticed that my friend didn’t have his party spirit on. His smiles were forced and most times, he looked quite distant. When the party was over and all the guests had left, I was able to pester him until he told me what was bothering him. His reason shocked me.

“My dad didn’t didn’t make the party and he didn’t get me a gift. He claims he was busy at work.”
I was baffled. I burst out laughing but quickly controlled myself because I looked insensitive. I took to consoling him instead and assured him that his dad must be really sorry.

I stayed up most of the night, thinking of my roommate’s dad and comparing himself with mine. I concluded that his dad must be superhuman,  probably one of the most outstanding fathers in Sub-Saharan Africa. Maybe it was because of his upbringing and schooling.
Three things struck me the most :
1. His dad remembered his birthday.
2. He was planning to get a birthday gift for his son.
3. He actually called to apologize. Apologize to your son? Is this man truly African ?

But from the whole situation, you know my verdict? HIS FATHER IS NOT BUSY!

Yes! Busy fathers don’t remember their children’s birthdays. They don’t have time to call if its not a matter of life and death. They are busy working for the family. You know, they never work for themselves or for their ego or personal prides o, no! They work for their wives and for their children. You know that line naw?
I arrived at this conclusion cause of my father.

The day I was born, my father was in another hospital, saving another woman’s life. How do you expect him to be holding his wife’s hands when he should be busy holding someone’s brain. I was looking at my first birthday pictures a while ago and I noticed daddy occiput wasn’t even in any picture by mistake. My mum made excuses for him as usual, said he could not make it because he was on call. I wonder how he wasn’t too busy to sleep with his wife. Or maybe he slept with her just three times ever and that produced my sisters and I. I won’t be surprised actually since he believes in efficiency and effectiveness.

I remember this day in particular event in primary school. Every year, the PTA of my school used to organise a seminar called “Single Parent’s Seminar”. That year my mum was invited to come speak on the title “Raising a child all-alone: Pros and Cons”. Without stating the obvious, we left that school! Actually the head-mistress was wrong to assume my father was dead or my parents were divorced just because she had not see him before.

My dad knows that we were born. We live in the same house. He pays our school fees. He gives us allowance. But on what day and what year exactly we were born, ain’t nobody got time for that!
My dad was filling a form once and he had to call. He called to ask for my date of birth and those of my sisters. He knows I’m in the University of Ibadan quite alright and that I’m studying geology. He believes I’m alive and well and that is just okay for him. After all, he is working hard, just to give us a good life.

Did you dad ever come for any “open day”? Was he at your matriculation? You are part of the lucky ajebutters in this world. If he ever visited your room while you were on campus, go and give him a kiss.

But do you really expect Professor Olayiwola Omo Salako MBBS (London), MSc(Ibadan), FRCS (Edinburgh), FNIM, PhD to be doing all that waka? You mean there are no more brains to work on? No more heads to drain? No more papers to write and no more researches to carry out?

We grew up with my mum alone at home with us. Daddy was just the supplier of money. He was distant. He was always busy. Even when he was at home, he was behind his computer. We didn’t complain. In fact, we didn’t know it was different in other homes. As far as we were concerned, all daddies stayed out late to save lives.
My dad missed out on our childhood if I can say so. He was in the hospital even during weekends. I remember the night we were burgled and the robbers took a lot of stuff away, my dad was not at home. Another night, there was a fire outbreak fire at home and we had to run out to call the neighbor to help us with fire extinguisher. No daddy again. I had to be the man of the house and do all the manly chores. I remember bringing my prize for winning the state Super Bowl home and my dad was not around to cheer me up. Daddy didn’t even know that Kemi was Head Girl in school. I guess it is the price you pay for being the children of the best neurosurgeon in Sub-Saharan Africa.

I got used to it. I got used to being without daddy. And it was no excuse for me to be wayward. He still actually found time to beat us. Some punishments may be referred from mummy to daddy. My dad isn’t not a bad man; busy but not a bad man. In his own way, he actually cared for us and cared about us. Maybe he could have spent more time with family. Yes.. But actually, I got to find a Father in God. I built a strong character from Him. My father is so proud of the man I’m becoming and he believes it can attributed to his firm and strict ways of raising us up. But whenever he says that, you know what I do at his back? YIMU! If we wanted to yawo, we had all the opportunity in this world, but we didn’t! Thank God

My phone is ringing and its Dad calling for the third time this week already. Are things beginning to change?

5 Comments

  • Hi,I’m a friend of Tiwatide and he told me I had to read this.Your article is so awesome I felt like you were talking about my dad,though his degrees are not that much. : )…I really enjoyed reading it,we couldn’t stop laughing I mean Tiwatide and I.Looking foward to reading more of your articles

  • Lol. Found the part about mum being invited to speak at singles’ forum in the school very funny.

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